I'm confused - like totally confused. I just finished reading my good friend's blog [taopriestess] and his writings made me confused even more. It has actually started since he gave me comments in my blog. But I didn't notice it at first, but at this moment, it's totally giving me the creeps ~
I'm gonna quote what he typed for me :
"And I know u have been through a lot and yet you're still here writing this blog, sharing what wisdom that you have with the world. So let me just tell you if didn't already know, you do know what it takes to make it through, believe that, believe in yourself. Trust me, you DO know. Don't ever doubt yourself"
"I just can't believe how much you have changed. And you makes me wanna change to into a better person"
"I only decided to make a couple of the effort listed here bec of my good friend Prince of The Meanest(www.diamondskin.blogspot.com) who have change so much and definitely makes me want to change and be a better person."
What the hell is this...???!! What did you mean I have changed so much ? And why you're talking to me in blog like I'm some kind of a psycho-turned-good ??
Ok ~ I'm sorry if I was overreacting or something, but I just don't get it. When did I change ? I was always ME ~ I always have been ME and I will always be ME ~ ME ~ and ME.
My good friend is giving me shivers by telling me that I'm a changed-person. It's like I'm in some quest of redeeming myself [like Xena Warrior Princess -> not that it's bad or something]. And if it's true why should I redeem myself ? This whole time, I was always and I always have been on the RIGHT side - I was never wrong for this particular matter [that this good friend of mine knew about].
I have to admit I'm not the most righteous man there is, but I was never MEAN or BLOODY to anyone [except to those who offended me], especially my FRIENDS. I'm just wondering why he said that, I know it's not a really important matter, but somehow when I read his comment, I feel that my heart breaks [a bit] <-- Am I kinda overdramatic in this part ? Sorry...
When I read his comments, I felt like I was [or have been] on the WRONG side instead of RIGHT. God knows I'm RIGHT or I thought HE knew. And I thought I knew myself better than everyone else. ~ I'm getting even more confused or is it that my disorder kicking back ??
Now that I think of it, was I ever on the RIGHT side ? Or I thought I was RIGHT ? Or Was I always on the WRONG side this whole time ? It's like I was blamed for things that I never did. For this particular matter, I was the VICTIM - I always have been. It's THEM who should redeem themselves [obviously, those "them" are the ones who should THINK, INTROSPECT and GIVE me the things that RIGHTFULLY should be GIVEN to me].
Why did you say that ? Would you care to explain ? It's not that I need your explanation or something, but I need justification for what you have typed. And I'm not offended by what you typed, I'm just wondering why.
I'm wondering why I even write this particular blog ~ I'm wondering why I should explain [over and over] that I was the victim ~ I'm wondering why ME ??
6 comments:
take a deep breath, relax and be yourself...
Thank You Dr.B
Melll, this is too much, n i cannot laughing anymore in this time.
U guys, both of u, had a really really complicated different opinion, don' t fight, i mean even not in physically but in all that words, thats so not a world peace n not so open minded, i knew everyone got their voices to do anything they wanted, or whatever.
But two of U, juzzz shut up !!! ( rachel' s friends style ) hahahaha, upz, im sorry, i can still laugh at this time.
All i want is u 2 prepared to be urself, each of u.
esp U my lovely Bro, i know u have an emotional n high temperature ( yeah, juz like me ), but as u can see, atank had a calm temperature, sooo wat i wanna say, u juz have to stay calm n be patient, coz
continue ~~
coz i dont want u to be sick( coz patient is more such a precious thing bro ), for some of that kind things ( i didnt mean anything badly bout taopriestess' s opinion or u too bro, coz both of u r my bro ).
This is my opinion n few facts bout 2 of u, few things in diamonskin n taopriestess blogs:
Prince of Meanest is liking American things so much, esp LA or NYC.
n now he cannot stay in there yet, buttt will n sooner as possible, i knew he can make that happen by himself.
One thing, China is not worse too, coz every single place in this world, had a unique n nicest some things too, so lets enjoy, that can made u forgot bout ur hate things, ok?!
TaoPriestess is not liking American, but he still stay in there, so why juz u had fun n enjoy, accept all U' ve got ( im sorry, Prince of meanest too, i forgot to put it in ur place ).
Coz u' ve got American, n u had been to SG, China n OZ too, is that correct?! if im not doin' any remembered mistaken.
So, the conclusion is, u 2 juz do ur best, n work it out to get it wat u want by urself, coz this is the time to grow up as in mind n attitude.
I know both of u can do that, coz both of u do it well in English n Chinese language for the example n smart too, but maybe in the different way.
p.s: bknnya sok tau ttg lu b 2 yup bro, tp gw mau yg terbagus buat lu b 2, n dont fight anymore, bcoz of different way or etc. Dont be so sensitive or selfish coz people juz made mistaken.
juz respect all that different, but for sure, being honest is not a crime too, but dont fight of this things anymore, juz enough.
All i want for u guys juz to be urself ( still of course open minded, yeah maybe a lil' selfish, coz it urs privacy, each others, n respected each others, PEACE)
Luv ya =)
ok, I totally didn't mean for you to take it that way,at all and of course I never meant to write it for that purpose either, honest to Goddess.
So I dunno how to put this in a way that you'll understand, but won't offend you in any kind of way. Ok
So here you do know that I'm over weight,rite? And you don't have to say anything since of course even the doctor group me as an obese patient already, since my weight is not balanced with my height.
Ok,but so far the doctor didn't find anything wrong with me, no high cholesterol no diabetes no high blood pressure, or at least not yet at that time anyway. Ok, so when I say you have changed, it's like saying right now I have lose some weight, I didn't have too since I'm in no sickness or so It's not necessarily mean that I need to lose weight or anything it's just that it's healthier somehow for me to lose some weight, and might even benefit somethings in the future for it who knows. So again I never meant for you to say that you were ever in the wrong place. Goddess know why we all love you is because you're you. So when I see this changes from you, I take it as a sign that you're trying to get healthier or so, and it makes me also wants to be healthier like kicking my lazy habit away.
I honestly never meant it in the way that you , sort o took, it, and for making you think that, is my fault I'm so sorry. I never meant any harm or basically anything that would made you write this certain blog.
Again I'm sorry and I hope I explain it without doing anything or making you think that I'm trying to hint anything. No what I meant was what I wrote no secret message or between the lines or none of those stuff.
Ok, I think I did my best to try to explain myself without making you think that I'm trying to play you or whatever.
None of sort and I meant all my words, whether you believe it or not
Forgive me,
Tao Priestess
Thats awesome TaoPriestess, but sincerely i didnt mean u have to apologize, but sure thats a good attitude.
N theres no rite or wrong between u guys, juz think bout urself, u Prince of Meanest n u TaoPriestess, haha.
Happy to know both of u, who u guys really r, n etc.
Luv ya ~~
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