I just finished watching the 3rd season premiere of Ugly Betty "The Manhattan Project" 3 hours ago. And when I heard + saw Betty's Dad [Ignacio] said that growing up is not about making the right decisions, it's about dealing with the decisions that we've made. Those sentences just struck me and I couldn't even sleep. One of the reasons why I'm typing my goddamn mind at the moment.
Is it true that everybody needs to grow up? I mean I know everybody needs to, I'm not stupid or retarded. And what is growing up anyway? If it's about "forgiving and forgetting" all those shits that people did to me [and by people ~ I mean all human beings, including my family]. I just don't wanna be any part of it because it's not me, it's not who I am. I don't wanna grow up if it's gonna be like that, it's just WRONG.
And thinking that I was abandoned to this "Goddamn F-ing Place", should I even consider to grow up ~ be mature ~ forgive and forget? Why should I do those things? To be honest, I don't even think I should, it was never my fault anyway.
And up until now, I haven't been anything but MATURE with capital M. I tried to forget all those sufferings from 2005 - 2007, though I honestly have to say that I can't forgive nor forget, it's just not my nature. I'm sorry but I'm just BOY who likes it ROUGH and I wanna get EVEN. And by the way, they're the ones who should kneel down and begging me for forgiveness.
FYI : I haven't forgiven nor forgotten any shits that some people did to me. Well, nothing to worry cause I will get my revenge someday and it's gonna be a dish best served cold.
But as a so-called Grown-Up Boy, I will always try to make the right decisions and I promise that I will try the smooth way to deal with 'em. But I won't promise I will be smooth when they're not going exactly as I've planned.
PS: To my dear [un]Favorite Uncle ~ how'd you like the way I treated you last time at my Dad's Funeral? Just remember, there's plenty more where that came from.
and to "some people" ~ you will get yours when the time comes.
4 comments:
Well, I didn't know u watch Ugly Betty.
I actually really think that part of growing up is to deal with whatever decision that you choose, but to me it's actually more than that growing up is also being able to LET GO of some things that we just can't seem to LET GO or to stop our EGO from taking over, doing things for the best "universal" reasons rather than for "personal" reasons, and last, but not least, learn how to SURRENDER, or more like learning on how to deal with the "cards" that we've been dealt with rather than keep on HANGING ON or hoping for a better "cards" or so.
Well, that's just me. Believe me it's not fun, totally no fun growing up, it's the biggest pain in the ass. That's why it's so hard, right? If it's easy, then there wouldn't be anyone who WOULDN'T want to grow up, and NOBODY would like to stay as a kid. Too bad, so WE ALL wanna be a kid forever, but if we all are kids, then how would the world would run, right? Well, maybe it's just my 'whatever' thinking.
You're allowed to think of growing up in anyway you want actually, but other people does have their own preference of growing up, so it depend if you don't care about what other people thinks, like me. I'm sticking to my own preferences even if their right or wrong in other's eyes. It won't bother me, but if you're one of those people that just give all the freaking crap about appearences and what other people thinks, then maybe you should do a more generalized meaning of growing up, which is mostly just stop acting like a kid, stop being selfish, learn how to share, and how not to hold a grudge.
The choices is always up to you. It's your life and it's your decision, you are to allowed to do whatever you want to do or believe, ok?
Hope that helps or some sort,
OXOX
Tao Priestess
what ?? dealing with appearance ? what's that supposed to mean ??
since when do i care about what people think of me ??
acting like a kid ? i was always mature for kids my age !!
being selfish ? how could "abandoned" be selfish ??
before u speak, get the facts right and think !!
before u speak, get the facts right and think !!
Ok, I think same goes for you since Whatever is it that you think I'm accusing you of, I'm not. In fact I wasn't even talking about you, so stop getting it as I'm trying to send you a hidden message or read between the lines.
Dealing with appearances, hum couldn;t find this phrase in my comment, but I take it you meant, the "It won't bother me, but if you're one of those people that just give all the freaking crap about appearance and what other people think". Appearance meaning how you look like in public how you dress, how you look like how the general public, etc those craps is what I think appearance is all about, but since I don't really care about what strangers think about me, I might not know as much or as correct as normal people who care about appearances should be.
Frankly, I dunno whether you care about what other people think or not, which is why I said if you're like me who don't give a crap then bla3... or if you do then, bla3...
Again WHERE did the part where I said you were acting like a child. Never said you did, I believe.
Btw, If you said that you're mature for a kid you're age, I believe you because I do know when you're not lying, and when you are.
Fyi if I was going to say something about your being childish, I would have said that yes sometimes you do have childish behavior, but I know that sentence is not true if I replaced the 'sometimes' with an 'always'
AGAIN, i NEVER said that you were selfish, but if you want me to tell you something about selfish, I would have said, that you're kinda are, then again who in the world isn't. maybe some God and Goddess, but definitely not humans, no humans is selfless, ok.
Even when we thought we're doing the right thing, like telling our partner that we're cheating on them. It's a selfish act since what we do is not only hurting our partner, but also we wanna clear our conscious of all guilty feelings of ever betraying someone that we love, see how selfish is human even though, it only seems like we're doing the right thing. People only say, yeah, I love hi/her, of course that's why I told her/him the truth. Yeah, rite if you really love someone and really regret what you did, then shut your mouth up, and deal with all the guilt until the day that you die; I would said that is LOVE, even though I'm sure I can defend myself with some lame excuses like It's biological needs, bla3... (another selfish behavior. So, that's why I'm sure you're selfish even when you think that you're not, again everyone is selfish. ok, so hopefully there's no point of you arguing back on this point. I said everyone is selfish and everything that someone do even whether it looks like selfless things like :charity,volunteer work,etc , but if you only do it because it makes you feel good, isn't that also selfish? Well, that's all in my mind.
I would say being abandoned definitely not selfish of course, but dealing with it like you're the only one that feel the lost is selfish. I can only say when a person died, there's more than one that care that also goes through the same thing. All I'm saying is IF you're feeling that you're the ONLY person that being abandon, now I'm sure that's is selfish, at least in my dictionary.
That's all I have and of course I'm going to expect that you're going to reply to it, with more aggression, of course because somehow with or without knowing I'm sure that Prince of The Meanest is never wrong, (now that sentence just now, I'm being sarcastic) And even if you ARE wrong, I never would have expected you to admit it,so it doesn't matter really, whatever you say or don't say, ok. Can't wait for the reply(not that I'm really expecting, but I know I should be, right?)
Well, to whatever you'll reply, I guess
OXOX
Tao Priestess
In the previous comment on my friend, Prince of The Meanest(Diamondskin.blogspot.com), I mention that I don't think that he is that lucky.
It's wrong of me to say that PoMT as "not that lucky",of course he is lucky, but I think that his hard working and dedication puts him on the top, not his luck, and that's what I meant before, I'm sorry if he was offended by it.
I meant it in a good way, but I blame myself for trying to shortcut my comments and leaving the important details of my comment behind, which mislead him and everyone else to think that I was offending him.
Again, I'm sorry. Prince of The Meanest I hope you will forgive me, my incompetence is always proven, believe me if I do intended to insult you in any kind of way I will make sure to make that insult is noticeable, so you don't have to worry about it, ok.
Thank for clearing that out in the way.
Friends Forever
OXOX
Tao Priestess
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