Wondering Why ?? ~ And Confused

I'm confused - like totally confused. I just finished reading my good friend's blog [taopriestess] and his writings made me confused even more. It has actually started since he gave me comments in my blog. But I didn't notice it at first, but at this moment, it's totally giving me the creeps ~

I'm gonna quote what he typed for me :

"And I know u have been through a lot and yet you're still here writing this blog, sharing what wisdom that you have with the world. So let me just tell you if didn't already know, you do know what it takes to make it through, believe that, believe in yourself. Trust me, you DO know. Don't ever doubt yourself"

"I just can't believe how much you have changed. And you makes me wanna change to into a better person"

"I only decided to make a couple of the effort listed here bec of my good friend Prince of The Meanest(www.diamondskin.blogspot.com) who have change so much and definitely makes me want to change and be a better person."

What the hell is this...???!! What did you mean I have changed so much ? And why you're talking to me in blog like I'm some kind of a psycho-turned-good ??

Ok ~ I'm sorry if I was overreacting or something, but I just don't get it. When did I change ? I was always ME ~ I always have been ME and I will always be ME ~ ME ~ and ME.

My good friend is giving me shivers by telling me that I'm a changed-person. It's like I'm in some quest of redeeming myself [like Xena Warrior Princess -> not that it's bad or something]. And if it's true why should I redeem myself ? This whole time, I was always and I always have been on the RIGHT side - I was never wrong for this particular matter [that this good friend of mine knew about].

I have to admit I'm not the most righteous man there is, but I was never MEAN or BLOODY to anyone [except to those who offended me], especially my FRIENDS. I'm just wondering why he said that, I know it's not a really important matter, but somehow when I read his comment, I feel that my heart breaks [a bit] <-- Am I kinda overdramatic in this part ? Sorry...

When I read his comments, I felt like I was [or have been] on the WRONG side instead of RIGHT. God knows I'm RIGHT or I thought HE knew. And I thought I knew myself better than everyone else. ~ I'm getting even more confused or is it that my disorder kicking back ??

Now that I think of it, was I ever on the RIGHT side ? Or I thought I was RIGHT ? Or Was I always on the WRONG side this whole time ? It's like I was blamed for things that I never did. For this particular matter, I was the VICTIM - I always have been. It's THEM who should redeem themselves [obviously, those "them" are the ones who should THINK, INTROSPECT and GIVE me the things that RIGHTFULLY should be GIVEN to me].

Why did you say that ? Would you care to explain ? It's not that I need your explanation or something, but I need justification for what you have typed. And I'm not offended by what you typed, I'm just wondering why.

I'm wondering why I even write this particular blog ~ I'm wondering why I should explain [over and over] that I was the victim ~ I'm wondering why ME ??

Legend Of The Condor Heroes ~ Part II

I just finished watching the latest Legend Of The Condor Heroes yesterday at 3.00 am. It was really AMAZING, a very great series to be made into television. I have to admit that some scenes even brought me to tears ~ YES, it's THAT GOOD!!

The scene was well-made, the acting was incredible, the fighting scenes were awesome, the CGI wasn't Over-The-Top, the story and changes were well-written, and the cast was AMAZING ~ standing ovation to them, especially :

1. Hu Ge as Guo Jing

2. Ariel Lin as Huang Rong

3. Yuan Hong as Yang Kang

4. Li Jie as Ou Yang Ke

I really felt terrible when Ou Yang Ke was killed. I knew Ou Yang Ke's death fate, but this latest version [Li Jie] was very very extraordinary, such a waste to have this character died just like that, he's not that evil either ~ I feel it's very unfair.

And I have to say that this latest Yang Kang is GREAT. I've never liked Yang Kang before [even in the previous renditions], but for this one I have to say that I was horrified when I knew his death fate was coming closer. But at least, this Yang Kang [Yuan Hong] died as an honorable changed-MAN [not like the previous ones].

I'm very happy for Guo Jing and Huang Rong's Happy Ending. They totally deserved it. And for the latter episodes, Hu Ge's Guo Jing changed his hair style, from the braided-hair into the bang-hair-style, made him even HOTTER. And as I've mentioned before, Ariel Lin's such an ADORABLE pretty-girl.

It's such a memorable [and moving] experience, watching this latest Legend Of The Condor Heroes

THANK YOU

For everyone who's involved in making this AWESOME series

Quote of The Day

We, Rafflesian were at the Latin Buffet Restaurant with Mbah Dukun. About 15 minutes before we decided to leave, the Chinese policemen came to restaurant and we thought they're gonna have dinner there, we were wrong. Apparently, the Chinese policemen were gonna inspect all the foreigners inside Latin, their first victim was a Black Guy, then a blonde woman, pretty much all the foreigners there, except us [Rafflesian] and maybe because we look Chinese to them. It was pretty much a drama there ~ most foreigners were pissed off. But, whatever, as long they don't bother me, I'm totally OK with it. And then we decided to pay the bill and leave.

A-Kang left with Agent Bawel and Shar***. I was with Mini-Mean and Mbah Dukun, we were waiting for taxi [Heaven knows when I will walk] and then...

Mbah Dukun : If LA was sitting there eating with us at Latin, LA's gonna get caught and they're gonna INSPECT him !!

Mini Mean : Yeah Yeah !! And the Chinese policemen gonna say to LA "Are you a terrorist ? You look like a Terrorist !!"

Prince of Meanest : ......

And it was like 5 minutes-talking about LA and he just couldn't stop [LoL]

Mbah Dukun : You know what, the other day, I asked LA "When will you cut your hair ?" and LA told me that he will cut it

Mbah Dukun : Then I said to him "You better cut it short, very short !!"

Prince of Meanest : .... *laughing out loud*

Mini Mean : ... *laughing out loud*

When I think people couldn't be any meaner, Mbah Dukun just outdid himself ~~

PS : should we give Mbah Dukun a standing ovation ??

Apple

I just want to say that I LOVE Apple ~

I just want to say that I HEART Apple ~

I don't know why but I NEED [every] Apple ~

I don't know why but I WANT [every] Apple ~

Every time I'm sad I just need to take a look at my Apple products

Every time I feel depressed I just need to clean my Apple MacBook

Every time I go insane I just need to open www.Apple.com

Every time I feel like shits I just need to listen to my Apple iPod / iPhone

Thank you Apple for bringing me such happiness

Thank you Apple for existing

I can't imagine how my life would be without Apple

And I certainly can't live my life without Apple

By : White Apple [A.K.A Prince of Meanest]

Quote of The Day

Whoever said orange was the new pink was seriously disturbed.

I feel comfortable using legal jargon in everyday life.

Oh, I like your outfit too, except when I dress up as a frigid bitch, I try not to look so constipated.

Hello, Patriots! I don't think I've been this excited since Gucci became a publicly-traded company.

By : Elle Woods

Quotes above are taken from my favorite [chick-flick] movie of all time

Legally Blonde

Legend Of The Condor Heroes

This is my [new] OFFICIALLY favorite Legend Of The Condor Heroes. This latest rendition is GREAT ~ I mean seriously, it's F-ing AWESOME!!

Name : 胡歌 / Hu Ge

Role: 郭靖 / Guo Jing

A.K.A : 靖哥哥 / 大哥

To be honest, I have never liked Guo Jing before. The only reason I watch Legend Of The Condor Heroes is always because of Huang Rong. But after I saw this latest rendition and how Hu Ge portrayed Guo Jing, he's AMAZING. Hu Ge portrayed Guo Jing to perfection [IMO] - the dumbness yet naive, the braveness yet innocent, and more importantly he's very good-looking. Hu Ge did an AWESOME job for his portrayal of Guo Jing [*standing ovation*]. He truly let me know what Guo Jing's really like, he made Guo Jing's the MAN he's supposed to be. Thank God I'm still alive and I could watch his rendition and this latest Legend Of The Condor Heroes.

Name : 林依晨 / Ariel Lin

Role : 黃蓉 / Huang Rong

A.K.A : 蓉儿

At first, I wasn't very sure about Ariel Lin portraying Huang Rong. I watched her in It Started With A Kiss, in that series, she portrayed a very very DUMB GIRL ~ it's like watching a "Chinese Bimbo" and she's kinda stucked in my head - the dumb girl persona. But after I saw her portrayal of Huang Rong, I was mesmerized. And I have to apologize for doubting her. Now I know Ariel Lin is very talented, a very versatile actress. She portrayed Huang Rong very well - She's REALLY smart - cunning - pretty - MEAN - cute - KIND, I really think this is by far the best portrayal of Huang Rong. I got teary-eyed when she confessed her love to Guo Jing. She did a very-GREAT job in playing Huang Rong.

Name : 李解 / Li Jie

Role : 欧阳克 / Ou Yang Ke

A.K.A : 小毒物

I didn't know this Li Jie-guy but I have to say that his portrayal of Ou Yang Ke is The GREATEST [the BEST one] by far. He's really good looking, CUNNING ~ INTELLIGENT, and this latest Ou Yang Ke always wears white attires [my favorite color]. He's just so good at his portrayal that I feel I could relate to his character. I know he's an antagonist but I'll still say that I respect him both as an actor and the character of Ou Yang Ke [*standing ovation* for Li Jie] ~ And more importantly Li Jie's rendition of Ou Yang Ke is not the dimwit-spoiled-stupid-pervert like the previous one.

Name : 袁弘 / Yuan Hong

Role : 楊康 / Yang Kang

A.K.A : 完颜康 / 康弟

The INFAMOUS "Kang Di" ~ "Dede Kang" [in Bahasa Indonesia] ~ I love his renditon of Yang Kang, I have to give a standing ovation for Yuang Hong for such incredible performance. His evil smirk - his evil eyes - his lies - his hypocrisy - his skills [both mentally and physically] - his pretty face - his confusion of being Yang Kang or the Young Prince of Jin People, and his questionable loyalty. I have to say that Yuan Hong really exhibited the perfect portrayal of Yang Kang. And what I like the most about his portrayal of Yang Kang is his ability to use and manipulate Guo Jing, the way that the previous Yang Kang never did. He's just evil and I love it.

I'm writing this as a gratitude and COMPLIMENTS for this [AMAZING] latest rendition of Legend Of The Condor Heroes. I haven't finished watching it and now that I'm done writing this particular blog ~ I'm going to continue watching the DVDs...

Until then... ??!! Jya Ne...

Quote of The Day

All quotes below are taken from lyrics that inspire me to be greater [or meaner] everyday...

又被爱伤了一边无所谓当作成长

By : A-Mei / 张惠妹

离开你我才找回自己那爱笑的眼睛再见爱情我一定让自己让自己决定

By : Vivian Hsu / 徐若瑄 

我想一定是我听错弄错搞错拜托我想是你的脑袋有问题

By : Jay Chou / 周杰伦

It hurts my soul 'cause I can't let go

All these walls are caving in, I can't stop my suffering

I hate to show that I lost control every time I try to grasp for air

I am smothered in despair it's never over

By : Christina Aguilera

Family Business

Those things are called Bird's Nest, it's the main business of my family. Bird's Nest is the thing that helps my family physically, mentally, and financially. Thanks to them, my family can still eat a plate of rice.

It may look strange or whatsoever, believe me, it still does to me. But in some points I feel that I have to give them my gratitudes, I have to thank them, this is the purpose of this one particular blog post.

I wanna thank Bird's Nest, I know it's kind of stupid for thanking "things", but I know that I have to, because honestly, Bird's Nest is the thing that keeps helping me to be HEALTHY - physically, mentally, and financially. Since I was a kid, my father had been striving to make this Bird's Nest business works. Even my father's death won't change that, this business will not die the way my father did. My father's children [meaning : Me and My Elder Siblings] willl continue his work and we hope that we will surpass him one day. It is one of his legacy, his remains, his works, and I'm proud of him - I'm proud of it.

-Bird's Nest-

Chinese Name : 燕窝 [Yan Wo]

A.K.A : Swallow's Nest ~ Sarang Burung Walet [in Bahasa Indonesia]

Brief Function : Bird's Nests are supposedly rich in nutrients which are traditionally believed to provide health benefits, such as aiding digestion, raising libido, improving the voice, alleviating asthma, increasing concentration, and an overall benefit to the immune system [thank you Wikipedia.com]

Anyone interested ??

-Contact-

Phone Number : (021) 6614030

E-mail : sumberkencanawijaya@gmail.com

How To Make It In Life ?!

Actually, I was never really good with this particular subject ~ the "How To Make It In Life" subject. Because I don't think I have made it in my life either. So far ? My life has always been what I called it is - SUCK !! But I guess some people often feel the same way about their lives, it's everybody's secret - some people will never get satisfied, ain't that the truth ?

I really don't know how I've made it this far, I mean I'm still alive and living my so-called life. There's part of me that never gives up but there's a part of me that has given up, I think that's why people called it "Hope & Despair" ~ But will we have a hope if we never get a taste of despair ?

I don't mean to lecture or anything, not that I was ever good about it, NO! I'm writing this because I feel that I need to, need to get something out of my freakin' chest. But come to think of it... Do I really have anything inside my chest, though I have claimed that there's nothing inside me except EMPTINESS ? I mean sometimes it still hurts, though there's only -Bits & Pieces- inside me, my Question is "Why it hurts ?" Well, it's a never-ending question for me.

Back To Basics !

How to make it in life ? Or in my terms that would be "How did I make it this far ?"

I'll say I have my own ingredients and those are :

1. Perseverance

2. A bit of a good luck - [though, I'm not really sure that I have it either]

3. A lot of prayers - [believe me, I do pray]

4. Knowing what I'm doing

5. Courtesy - [a very common one]

6. Smartness - [it's a complicated life out there]

7. It doesn't take being a DIVA or a Witch with the capital "B" to make it in life [but I have to admit that it does help sometimes]

And because I believe that Good Luck is when Opportunity and Preparedness meet.

Quote of The Day

爱你一万年。。。 但是，不好意思，我骗你十万年

By : Agent Bawel

If That Wasn't A Dream

Hey ~ I just woke up 20 minutes ago, then I was doing my daily basis activities [checking my Facebook & Friendster]. After that, I read my friend's blog "taopriestess.blogspot.com", it was interesting ~ all the complaints + mocking, made me laugh. I need a few good laughs.

When I woke up, there's 1 particular dream that I remembered. I'm getting worse in my dream-skills, I used to be able to recall every single bit, now I can only recall a few things, but I'm still glad even I only can recall a few things, they are the things that matter the most.

I had a dream that I was doing my homework, I was surrounded by my family and yep...my Daddy was there, he's next to me. You can't possibly imagine what it feels like to be able to sit next to him[again], I mean I will never be able to sit next to him because he's already dead. Well, this is the truth and I know the truth sucks, but I just have to accept that.

When I was doing my homework, my Dad was speaking to my two elder brothers in Cao Zhou Hua [I'm sorry, I don't think I spell the language properly]. And then, being ME, I just can't stand people talking about me [bad or good], in front of me without me knowing exactly what they're talking about ~ I think I have the rights to know, clearly I was surrounded by them, when they're talking and though I only could listen to that language a bit, I knew my name was mentioned.

Then I said "Dad, if you have something to say to me, just say it and don't talk about it to other people, OK?" ~ Curiously enough, my eldest brother answered "Daddy said that you're a good boy, smart, and diligent. We are so proud of you!" ~ and being ME in the dream, I replied "I know, right ?" Everybody in my dream was laughing, pretending that they didn't hear me, but I just kept doing my homework and smiling proudly.

If that conversation was real, if my Dad was alive, if that wasn't a dream, I would never answered like that because I have [and I had] learnt a lot this recent year. I will totally answer "I'm doing this because I want to make you guys proud of me. Especially... *10 seconds gap* I want to make you proud of me, Daddy."

Can I say "better late than never" right now ?

Quote of The Day

I was chatting with Queen Bitch and in the middle of our conversation ~~ bincang2 seputar Agnes Monica's new music video [talking about how hot she is] ~~ bincang2 gak penting ~~ bincang2 ttg Raoul katany above CK ~~ bincang2 gak penting lagi -- biasa d...

Prince of Meanest : Queen Bitch, 'eM&'eM bakal pindah ke Singapore lho

Prince of Meanest : .... *waiting for a response* ... *like 5 minutes*...

Queen Bitch : Eh sorry !! Lagi seru

Queen Bitch : Ha ?? Gak penting

Queen Bitch : I will pretend that I didn't hear that

Prince of Meanest : You're Mean

Queen Bitch : Bitch is my middle name

Prince of Meanest : Aku taruh di blog ah...

Queen Bitch : Jadi si 'eM&'eM itu siapa nickname nya ?

Prince of Meanest : Kasih bintang - bintang (***) gini aja

Queen Bitch : Is she really that insignificant that we can't even think of a nickname for her?

... ___ in the moment of blankness___ ...

Queen Bitch : Nickname nya Insignificant_Blimp !

Queen Bitch : Is that too mean ??

Prince of Meanest : ...... *did you even need to ask ??*

Quote of The Day

"Listen to me, you son of a bitch. You have been a plague on my life. You repulse me. Every time I sat across from you listening to your lies, all I could do was fantasize about slashing your throat!"

By : Sydney Bristow

I just feel that I can relate to that

Fetish

I don't know why but I always have a thing towards whips - it's my FETISH

Quote of The Day

Pas lagi duduk di kantor and sedang boring2nya, trus ya bengang-bengong ga jelas - sambil ngantuk2 dan tiba2 ada yg ngomong...

Senior Employee : Prince of Meanest, 其实我们都说你了，我们都觉得你是很可爱，日本话 就是KAWAII。

Prince of Meanest : *Sok Bego Mode ON* 啊啊啊？对不起你说什么？我没听到。。。

A-Kang : *whispering* mulai de mulai...

Senior Employee : 我说我们都觉得你很可爱，很帅。

Prince of Meanest : *Muna Mode ON* 是吗？谢谢你可是我不敢当

Senior Employee : *smilingly*哈哈哈哈

A-Kang : *whispering* 你会不敢当吗？

English Translation*

I was sitting on the office chair and in the state of boringness - dumbfounded. I was very sleepy and then suddenly...

Senior Employee : Prince of Meanest, actually all of us here feel [think] that you're very cute, in Japanese is KAWAII

Prince of Meanest : *Dumb Mode ON* ...Huh ? I beg your pardon ? I'm sorry I can't hear you just now...

A-Kang : *whispering* He's starting it...again...

Senior Employee : I said that all of us feel that you're very cute, handsome.

Prince of Meanest: *Hypo Mode ON* Really ? Thank you for your compliment, but I dare not to accept it

Senior Employee : *smilingly* hehehehehe

A-Kang : *whispering* You're capable of feeling that ?

2 Days Left For My Internship

This morning when I just arrived to the office and I was still clueless about everything, I decided to sit and fly away with my mind (not that I'm a telepath or anything, I wish though). I kept thinking that my internship's really going to end, I can't believe that I'd say this but I do feel that I will lose a part of me. A part of me that is actually starting to enjoy working there, the people, the environment, the burdens. It's not really entertaining but it's not really bad either. And I couldn't believe that it's been 1 month and I totally went through it.

Everything spins around inside my mind and I asked myself "Do I actually feel sad that I'm leaving?". It's the thing that I want the most for the past 1 month, to get the hell outta there, now I feel sad ?? That's just weird mostly cuz I'm a hedonist. But I always accept everything that's new to me, and I do admit I've never felt this thing before and it's exciting.

I took pictures with everyone in the office (I have planned it since 1 week ago). Somehow, I know I'm gonna miss 'em and it's because they have been great to me, in every possible way, going from humanity to professionalism. I've grown bigger, better, GREATER and I'm just so GLAD that I did this internship.

Sure, it was a pain in the ass for the 1st week. But after about 4 weeks, I feel that "the pain in the ass" is totally worth it.

And I believe that as one door closes, another one opens.

~ It's totally not an ending, it's a new BEGINNING~