A Visa -Soon To Be- Problem

I'm kinda worrying right now because I just called visa agencies in HK 7 hours ago, discussing bout the situation of my visa. And then I got the same answer that for Indonesian people, we could only apply 1 month chinese visa, even worse one of the agencies said that -1 month chinese visa with 15days of stay-

Jadi ya saya bener - bener lagi agak cemas sekarang, ud sampe berdoa sama Tuhan, minta hikmah and kekuatan. I'm not trying to be "lebay" but this is for real. Visa ku itu sekarang yang student visa hanya sampai 31st December 2009, tadinya I didn't have a problem cuz I was supposed to attend the graduation ceremony sometime on December, but my school decided without students' consent to postpone the graduation until March 2010, then how bout me and my problem ?? The 1st option is that the school has to help me have another extension of student visa no matter what, kalo sampe situasi terburuk ya, harus apply visa monthly. Jadi aku berdoa sama Tuhan [and minta dukungan semua temen-temen] jangan sampe terjadi situasi terburuk. I admit I've face worse problems + trials compared to this one, but if I think about it, there's no comparison between problems - they have their own different set of difficulties at different set of time. But I'm glad I have survived all of the difficult trials that I thought I would had never had the courage to even go through in the first place. Therefore for this one ?? I could only be positive, pray to GOD, and do what's best for me. Most importantly, let Jesus take care of it because I believe HE won't give me trials + problems that I could never handle ~ I believe Tuhan memberikan semua cobaan kepada saya karena DIA tahu bahwa saya bisa melewati nya dengan baik.

Meanwhile, for few days ago, I had money-related problem, but I've solved it yesterday with ease, I believe this is also God's miracle that bestowed upon me. Thank YOU again, GOD.

So... right now all I can do is pray to GOD to guide me solving this visa problem and hope for the BEST, dari dulu sampai sekarang aku sudah percaya bahwa itu semua uda HIS PLAN and I believe HE has BIG BEAUTIFUL PLAN for me. Kalo memang ini one of the trials that I have to go through then so be it because I know I will end up as a winner. To be honest, if it's not because of GOD - I wouldn't be able to go through the things that I went through, especially for the past 7 months.

And saya bisa duduk disini typing my feelings + my emotions + my truth + my FAITH and saya juga masih bisa berdiri stronger everyday despite what I went through and what I will go through, it's only because of God and HIS grace.

Thank you Jesus - my God - my Savior - my Manager of Life ~ up until now you still show me how GOOD you are to me.

Thank you for my best of friends because I know they support me no matter what.

What The...?!

Supaya gak smua org [yg gak penting] bisa baca, jd kali ini saya pake bahasa tanah airku indonesia. Saya ya mau ngmong2 beberapa hal yg penting aja lah. Here we go
1. saya sudah selesai bikin 2 thesis : management + finance ~ gmn pun jg hasilnya saya tetap grateful cuz I've managed to finished them - I pulled off a 1 nighter
2. saya pindah [again... i know] ke Clifford Estate - and bakal stay d GZ smp bln maret. Why ??
* graduation ceremony saya itu bln March
* saya gak suka tgl di indo - drpd di indo gak jelas mau apa / disuruh2 gak jelas jg, mending stay di GZ jd saya bs have fun + skaligus ke HK + kerja tour guide part time
* kl saya plg indo, saya ga bs dpt student visa + harus bayar 2,5 jt buat fiskal pas ke Chn on March, mending saya beli Ray-Ban Wayfarer.
* lagian ud mau back for good - jd for the last time - i want to enjoy everything to the last bit
3. saya lg di HK -- and td paman n bibi nanya kapan saya lulus - waktu saya ksh tau + saya sebutkan alasan krn saya tetap di GZ smp bln maret - mereka yg bertanya2 knp ?? And saya menjawab sehalus mungkin... rasany se agak badmood - krn ya - ini decision saya + saya tau apa yg baik buat saya - [remember the China incident and where it got me into ??]
4. paman n bibi saya se gak nge-judge, cm mereka bertanya2 knp gak di indo aja urus2 amrik ny + knp mau stay 6 bln - sedangkan bln 10 ud lulus - saya badmood krn jd agak ngerasa guilty for letting myself enjoying everything. Tp i know i have the right reasons ! jd saya bkn badmood sm paman n bibi saya - saya cm badmood sm diri sndiri...terkesan bahwa saya a bit guilty ~ again kyk melibatkan soal money... or more like -- money spree.
5. ntar mlm / besok mlm mau makan Tony Roma's sm Motherfucking Princess + Bawel di HK. Too bad Queen Bitch can't come with us.
6. Yup, that's right !! Motherfucking Princess lg di HK - sm her classmates - jd saya + Bawel visit her in HK --- isn't it AWESOME ?? ud 1 thn 3 bln gak ketemu [bener kan cinta ??]
7. Mini Mean ud plg ke kampung halaman nya --- ~ sedih lho -- Rafflesian terpisah2.

Itulah hal2 penting yg saya mau sebutkan and telah saya sebutkan, gara2 agak badmood gini, jd pgn mengepulkan asap rokok + menambah global warming ~ salahkan nicotine ya - jgn salahkan saya [thx to Dr. C for the quotes] hahahahaha - ini bagai escape way for me, to be honest aja.

PS: di HK hr ini lg hujan + kykny sih bakal badai...

UP

Today is Saturday and unfortunately I still have to work until 12 pm ~ extremely exhausting and trust me, I mean it. I had a chat with Queen Bitch 2 hours ealier, she said that we might have to cancel the appointment for watching G.I. Joe this afternoon, everyone was still sleepy. I had no argument with that because I was very tired myself and ready to get into deep slumber if anybody brought me a pillow.

Finally after a while ~ the clock showed exactly 12 pm and though I had to wait for at least 20 minutes, I decided to go home with my best friend [whom I think should get a new nickname in my blog]. While inside the elevator, the thought of watching -UP- crossed my mind and I knew I had to watch it today [this afternoon] no matter what, part of it because I believed nobody would be interested enough to watch that latest animated movie by Pixar, except Young Majesty and The Motherfucking Princess of course.

And yeah... UP has only been in cinema in GZ since 4th of August, I know it's really late but it's better than a no-show. The main reason I wanted to watch UP was because the "Story of a Dying Girl's last wish" ~ and I knew that UP was certainly gonna be amazing. The other reason was the fact that UP was also shown in 3D at the cinemas and yes it's my first time watching a 3D animated movie. Most people probably do not know about this, but being able to watch movies in IMAX theater is one of my dreams. Well, I consider watching this 3D animated movie UP as a way for me be to one step closer to my dreams.

Truth be told, I didn't expect to be "that" astonished by this movie, but obviously UP has succeeded way beyond my expectations. The opening scene was just heart-wrenching and I think that opening scene could only be rivaled by WALL-E's memory loss. And the very thing I love about UP during and after the time I was watching it is -> Russell [a wilderness explorer] that chubby boy who's trying to earn his final merit badge for "Assisting the Elderly" ~ Russell is just freakin' hilarious and I couldn't stop laughing when:

- Russell properly introduced himself to Mr. Fredricksen by reading his manual for three times

- Russell accidentally threw his GPS out of the window and said "Oops..."

- Russell was tired and complaining and being dragged by the house [face down in the dirt]

- Pretty much everything that relates to Russell the wilderness explorer

I feel that I can relate to Russell in many ways and I think we have a lot in commons. I'm not only talking about the fact we're both chubby but also Russell's innocence plus his other traits that I seem to possess once upon a time. By far, Russell is my favorite PIXAR's character besides EVE. Watching Russell in UP has given me a lot of thoughts about myself regarding "what could have been" ~ don't worry I won't start fussing about my -ultimate drama of all time- in this post :P

I really enjoyed watching UP but I have to say that I was a bit annoyed when I was told by the ticket-center in TeeMall that I needed to go to the Grandview Mall instead, to be able watch UP in 3D format. But at least, the long and exhausting path was worth every penny.

I really think that UP is another great masterpiece by PIXAR. I'm really grateful for being able to watch this movie and my utmost gratitude "Thank You" to PIXAR for making UP.

PS: Rest In Peace - Colby Curtin.

For How Long ??

Good Day !! ~

I want to apologize for not being able to write or post anything for more than three months. The main reason is that facebook - youtube - twitter - blogspot - all of them are banned in China. The other reason is that I've been busy with some of new dramas in my life.

But I promise I will keep on posting details related to me and my life, at least what's left of it. And I'm here feeling grateful because I can open all of the banned website through a particular -way- that I'm not gonna spill because I'm afraid the government might track it down.

Some of the important things that I will post:

- My Birthday Celebration

- Why I decided to move to a new place [and why I also want to terminate a fucking ghost-bitch]

- My life that I'm living at the moment

- The Good, The Bad, and The Drama

- A positive outlook for the past 3 months

...I'm going offline now and hopefully I will have enough time to post all of the stories above. *fingers crossed*

Meanwhile, I'm here to tell everyone that -The Majesty- is back !!

XoXo

Taylor Swift

I can't believe that I'm being so cheesy at the moment. I mean, I'm dedicating this one blog to my ultimate favorite country-pop singer ~ the Fan-fucking-tastic ~Taylor Swift~ [OMFG!! she's so pretty and very talented ~ can't u believe she started writing songs on the tender age of 12? I was practically such a spoiled brat at the time.

Taylor got my attention at first because she's a pretty blonde [d'uh] that Joe Jonas broke up with the whole -27 seconds phone call- ~ that's HARSH! ~ I mean, why would he do that? I think Taylor Swift has everything that a guy could wish for a girlfriend. Why he did that is totally beyond me.

Well, no worries ~ Taylor Swift is far more successful and better than her stupid ex in terms for celebrity profile, albums, hit-singles, and everything that an artist could wish for. Good For You, Taylor!! [btw, remember the whole -Justin was jealous over Britney's career and he never got over it- fiasco?? same thing!!].

The first time I listened to Teardrops On My Guitar, I realized that I love Taylor Swift and I started to behave like a -freak- every time I hear or see her name or everything that relates to her. And I believe everyone who has read my blogs knows that already. And from that starting point, I love and have all her singles in my iPod, from her 2 albums ~ self-titled debut album & Fearless. I have to be honest, this is the only second time in my history of lifetime that my -freaking fan behaviors- kicking back. The first one was for Britney Spears and there's noboby could ever replace her. But Taylor Swift is totally different ~ the exact opposite of the now -Sexy Vixxen Pop Princess Britney-. Well actually, Britney was also cute and innocent the first time she started, ...Baby one more time era.

Back to Taylor, She's GORGEOUS and BeauTiFuL ~ and the fact that she's a talented singer/song-writer and a Straight-A's Student make her more even EXCEPTIONAL as a human being. That's why I feel that I need to write this blog dedicated only to her, so that I can understand and comprehend why I love and root for Taylor Swift. Words can't express my -undying love- for Taylor Swift at the moment ~ hopefully forever and ever.

PS: Taylor is also a big fan of Britney Spears!! ~

XoXo

Listening to "Our Song"

I've Not Only Won The Battle But Also The War

HaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHa *Evil Satanic Laugh*

I haven't been upset for a while and have been totally clueless of almost everything but again I'm not sad because I have been indulging myself in reading certain fan-fictions for this whole week, add that to the fact that I've been playing and carrying around my new BlackBerry Bold ~ yeah, I got a Bold for my B'day present, it's an early B'day present from my sisters and brother, totally in love with it ~ and feeling grateful. Then again, this certain fan-fictions have also been helping me to ease off my mind for whatever problems that have been shoved to my face and surprisingly this method has been working very well. I guess it's also a part of my ignorance personality, then again I don't really care about animosity that certain people have or had against me. As I have said over and over again, in this life, there's always a group of people who always love you and there will be a un-important person who hate you for no apparent reason.

Well, for whoever that hates me, I'll take that as a compliment because I personally think that kind of gesture [the hating thing] is a sign of extreme admiration ~ I'm sure there's only a thin red line between Love and Hate. I believe I have enough dramas in my life and I won't be so pleased to add another and while I'm trying to survive through all the dramas in my life, I'm really sure that I don't have the time to think about other people's business, that's also why I believe with all my mind that other people also have their own dramas in their lives. For that certain person who's able to hold grudges or hate me for reasons that I'll never understand, for me it's totally flattering, why? Simple! I'm sure that certain person also has his/her own dramas, and he/she's still thinking about me, hating me, holding grudges towards me, and yet I never really give a shit ~ isn't it just another drama-addition in his/her life? Personally for me, I'm totally flattered that he/she's still thinking about me, regardless of his/her thoughts being negative or positive, while he/she's still struggling living his/her own life. That's why I think it's called an individual's extreme admiration and I'm totally grateful if I could be a part of it.

Back to basics, the reason that I'm writing this topic at the moment is solely because I do know there's one certain person who hated me and held grudges towards me for reasons that I never know and to be honest, I have never bothered myself to even care. This certain case has been going on for the past 3 weeks and I seriously have never given a damn about it, I did give a thought about it for the first time but then I decided not to bother myself to think about his/her "whole-angry-hating-thing" to me, I think that particular he/she's just looking for my attention, to the extreme measure of course.

And miracle happens today or at least that miracle happens to me. That certain he/she asked for my time, asking whether I was busy or not, and being me ~ practicing the whole humble & noble thing ~ I certainly said that I wasn't busy. Then... *drum roll* that he/she started to cry while asking my forgiveness, that he/she also gave me reasons [that I really didn't understand] why he/she was angry to me and hated me for that particular of time. And then finally, that he/she decided to hug me asking for forgiveness while still crying and to appreciate that person, of course I accepted the hug and I said "It's OK, I have forgiven you."

Never seen the humble side of me? Well, I believe I wasn't entirely myself for that moment. But, let's forget the whole asking for forgiveness thing because I never really care that much, I mean I do forgive that certain person, but that won't lessen me from being more careful and more importantly, it won't lessen me for being who I am ~ because I still got that vindictive in me and still got that dirrty degree and if you want some more nasty ~ still got that freak in me [And yes, I'm quoting "Still Dirrty" by Christina Aguilera, great song! by the way].

To my conclusion, it's always what it's been: people can fuck with me I don't give a shit but not my Family [it goes both for my best friends and my blood-related family]. In the end, I'm still the champion ~ The Warrior Prince [my self-given nickname, it's kinda cheesy I know but I still love it, FYI: based on Xena Warrior Princess]. And I can't stop smiling happily because I know that I've not only won the battle but I've also won the WAR. I didn't even declare the war, it's that he/she who declared the war against me and clearly that he/she has LOST against me. To tell the truth, I didn't even bother to make any move.

PS: Why this certain person did what he/she did ~ is beyond my understanding.

You Know You Love Me

XoXo

17 More Days

Oh My Fucking God ~ that's like my first expression in regards to my coming B'day. I'm so scared of coming into age, the whole -I'm getting older- thing is totally screwing my moral senses [if I had any]. I don't exactly know what to say or how to behave, yet it's screwing up my mind. Even in these days I feel that I have been very very mellow, more than I usually have. Because I feel that or at least I think I feel that everything has begun to be too much to handle. Believe me, it's not about I can't handle anything because I totally can but it's just sometimes I wish that GOD didn't trust me that much.

I even keep re-thinking almost everything that I have done in the past, whether I regret them or not. And I thought about almost everything, from happiness to love to sorrow to grief and to anything that relates to my life ~ the life that I have been living. If there's one thing or two that I've learnt from the life that I have been living and particularly since the "China incident" ~ those things are:

1. Giving up doesn't always mean that I am weak, sometimes it means that I am strong enough to let go.

2. I believe that part of loving is learning to let go.

And those two things that I've learnt relate to all my aspects of life. Actually, it really scares me to death how I think that I have been more mature these past years because "mature" was never my thing ~ I know I'm mature and I have always been mature if it requires me to do so, but I have never wanted to be recognized as a "mature person" because I believe from that point people that we love that matter to us, will start giving us false beliefs. I don't think it's wrong for them to have those beliefs because in truth they just really care and more importantly LOVE who we are or who we might have become.

Because if there's anything that I've learned about growing up, it never was a "natural" thing, for me personally, it's a pressure ~ a heartbreaking process, because after all this time, I believe that I have never grown to be"mature" naturally, the situation and condition require me to do so and it's foolish of me because I didn't rebel, I just acted the way they wanted me to. And my question is "is this part of growing up?" ~ because if it really is, I don't want to be any part of it, yet here I am being trapped in very same situation that I've been babbling about. The next question to myself is "can I avoid all of this?"

Yes, I'm going to get a year older in 17 days and I'm grateful that I'm still alive but can't a B'day be a sign of Celebration instead of Growing Up? I know it's a celebration, what I mean is that I want it to be a "Celebration With No Strings Attached" ~ and yes I do feel the selfishness in that sentence. I really can't help it, selfish has always been a part of who I am. Actually, it's more of a "won't" than "can't" if you know what I'm saying.

I'm gonna be honest and I know I have to be because this blog of mine is where I pour everything inside of my mind and my heart. These past months, it seems to me that everything is too good to be true and I fear [not scared] of the sacrifices that I have to make later on, assuming there will be. Last time, it cost me my family - my father. I'm not saying I blame myself for his death, clearly not, but there's a part of me that always wonders whether I should've known better.

And yet here I'm wanting to stop myself from blabbering. I just wonder if this a part of my own aging process or I simply just worry too much. Whatever the result might be, I hope it's gonna be a positive impact for me, everyone, and everything else that have been going in my life.

PS: I'm gonna take a shower now ~ until then ~ xoxo